In an unprecedented and earth-shattering moment, GlobalistSlut.com is officially projecting that Ukraine has chosen its President of the United States: Kamala Harris. Yes, you heard it right, folks! NBC has declared that Kamala Harris has secured the electoral heart and soul of… Ukraine. The votes are in, and Ukraine has proudly awarded its trust, hope, and sovereignty to Harris as the next Commander-in-Chief.
Apparently, Ukraine wasn’t content with just the billions in aid—it wants to ensure that its favorite benefactor is in power! Forget the debates, forget the polls, forget the American voters. Ukraine has spoken, and Harris is their pick to steer the American ship, right from Kyiv’s finest boardrooms. Because when it comes to U.S. elections, who cares about Ohio when you’ve got Odessa?
Sources say this is only the beginning. After all, what’s a little international influence among friends? The next projected wins? Latvia and Moldova are also leaning Kamala. And rumor has it that Kazakhstan may be flipping blue any moment now.
Stay tuned for updates as Kamala’s campaign celebrates this monumental win. They’re already planning victory rallies in downtown Kyiv and diplomatic dinners to thank Ukraine for its overwhelming support in these critical times.
At GlobalistSlut.com, we say thank you, Ukraine, for making democracy work—one foreign endorsement at a time!
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