In a scandal that’s less James Bond and more “Creepy Guy from High School,” whistleblowers have exposed that the Deep State has developed a full-blown crush on political heartthrob Tulsi Gabbard. (How TF did you miss this, TMZ?). The ex-Congresswoman and presidential candidate has caught the eye of our government’s most clandestine agency, and they are simping hard.
Thanks to a group of brave Federal Air Marshal whistleblowers, we’ve learned that Gabbard is the unwitting star of the TSA’s “Quiet Skies” program. This surveillance scheme is ostensibly meant to keep us safe from domestic terrorists, but let’s be real—it's just an excuse for the Deep State to follow Gabbard around like love-struck puppies. They’ve got three Federal Air Marshals tailing her on every flight, along with two Explosive Detection Canine Teams and a plainclothes TSA Supervisor. Because nothing says "I have a crush on you" like an entourage of bomb-sniffing dogs.
Sonya LaBosco, Executive Director of the Air Marshal National Council, is the brave soul who blew the whistle on this whole operation. She revealed that a photo of Gabbard is being circulated like an old Playboy. According to LaBosco, the infatuation started right after Gabbard had the audacity to criticize Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, and the National Security State. Apparently, nothing turns the Deep State on more than a woman who speaks her mind.
The level of obsession here would make even the most dedicated stalker blush. LaBosco reports that TSA agents have been trying to “get their hands on one of Gabbard's panties as if they were Putin’s launch codes”. There are even rumors that they’ve been sniffing her airplane seat after she gets up. Is this national security? Has this high school crush gone way too far?
Meanwhile, LaBosco and AMNC President David Londo have been frantically waving red flags about this blatant abuse of power. They've sent letters to every committee with a pulse, but it seems our government is more interested in maintaining its dirty little fan club than addressing these serious breaches of constitutional rights.
The Quiet Skies program has a secret list that's less about security and more about personal vendettas. It includes babies, because who doesn’t want to watch a teething toddler for signs of terrorism? A.J. Fischer’s infant son is on the list, as well as Bryan Smith, a man with two decades of unblemished service, and Christine Crowder, the wife of an active Air Marshal. Christine was just in D.C. on January 6, not even at the Capitol protest. But hey, any excuse to add to the Deep State’s version of a creepy crush scrapbook.
People flagged by this program often find themselves with a Quad S (SSSS) on their boarding passes, ensuring they get the full TSA treatment. Extra searches, missed flights, and the constant feeling of being watched—it's like being in a horror movie, except the monster is your own government.
So, what is it about Tulsi Gabbard that has the Deep State playing pocket pool on planes? Is it her military service, with stints in Iraq and Kuwait? Her groundbreaking political career, which saw her become the youngest woman ever elected to Hawaii’s House of Representatives? Maybe it's her fearless stance against interventionist wars and the establishment’s hypocrisy. Or perhaps it’s just that undeniably sexy white hair streak.
Regardless, Gabbard’s greatest crime seems to be her willingness to call out the powerful and challenge the status quo. And for that, the Deep State can’t help but crush on her like the world's creepiest club of weirdos. They’re not just watching her—they’re obsessing over her every move, desperately trying to get closer to the object of their unconstitutional affection.
This isn’t just about one woman. It’s about a government so desperate to control and silence dissent that it will go to absurd and even creepy lengths to do so. The surveillance of Tulsi Gabbard is a chilling, albeit hilariously pathetic, reminder of just how far the Deep State will go to keep its secrets and hold onto power.
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